deralte | Ariana's Guide to Travelling

Last time I was on holiday, I wrote a guide to traveling. I made myself stop at twenty since I could go on forever with pessimistic travel advice (all of this is from my own experience). Of course, it's taken me this long to bother typing them up, but I have nothing better to do while I kill an hour before my exam...

1. Learn the art of infinite patience. This is the ability to calmly smile and estimate how many books you can read/coffee's consume after your flight has been delayed seven hours and you're stuck in a airport the size of a small Volkswagon at 3am. If you fail to aquire this skill, a small supply of prozac can do wonders for your outlook.

2. Learn to enjoy the scenery out your plane/bus/train window. Depending on where you are travelling, it may be the most interesting thing you see on your trip.

3. Remember that the person blaring music out of their headphones that you are stuck sitting next to really does like repetitive techno/incomprehensible heavy metal music.

4. Sometimes it really is worth paying more for your accomodations.

5. Sometimes it isn't. Money don't buy you nothing in Italy.

6. If you are a non-smoker and smoking is allowed, the one smoker will come and sit next to you. The same goes for people trying to quit. Plan for this by learning not to breathe.

7. Not all toilets are equal.

8. Learning some of the local language is only useful if the locals make an effort to understand you.

9. Checking in online is a miracle that only works when you don't really need it.

10. Everything closes early and often, except in America and Norway.

11. Learn to amuse yourself by imagining blackmailing the person next to you having a long, intimate conversation on their mobile.

12. Have them check if you have a fever before you leave the hospital.

13. Taxi drivers are some of the weirdest people on Earth. Befriend the friendly ones and carry a religious symbol of your choice to ward off the others.

14. Good food and good service rarely go together, and both are often absent.

15. Tourist kitch (sp?) is never in.

16. The local drink is rarely any good, but will invariably contain a high percentage of alchohol.

17. Bus drivers are your friend, but only on certain days known only to them and Braakenstoppin, God of Busdrivers.

18. You can never carry too many granola bars.

19. Wear good shoes. You will always have to walk at least twice as far as you anticipate. This includes the entire breath of the city of Rome.

20. If you wouldn't be comfortable wearing it to bed, don't wear it on the plane.