Oh, reviewers!

[deralte]

I tend to get a variety of reviews, many of them quite odd, and of course, the most frustrating thing about them is that the ones you want to reply to have no way of replying to them. This is a roundabout way of saying please forgive me for ranting at a reviewer for a sec.

Dear Samwise O'Keefe,

Uric the Oddball and the Wild Hunt is set in 1680. I repeat, 1680. Not the 12th century, I promise. They had paper and potatoes and violins. They didn't have faucets, but I believe that wizards did have them or at least the equivalent. The same for sinks. Don't believe me? Blame Rowling for putting the Chamber of Secrets behind a sink.

I don't mind that you've obviously misread the date of the story (even if it is written very clearly in the summary!), but dear God, stop telling me in every review that I'm wrong. I'm an archaeologist. I do my fucking research when I'm writing historical stuff. Could you be any more patronizing?

Aaarrghhh,
Ariana Deralte

We now resume your regular programming.

Comments

[persephone-kore.livejournal.com]

This might be one of those times where you are justified in an author's note, or in dropping a review on your own chapter. ;) On the other hand, you may not want to dignify him with a public response, and besides, if he didn't read the summary, he'd probably miss the author's note too.

[deralte.livejournal.com]

Uh, do you ever read reviews at ff.net? Cause I've never seen an author respond that way. If someone leaves a signed review or even an email I can respond but I would never check to see if someone had responded to my review with a review of their own story (on ff.net).

And that's the kicker, there are author notes scattered throughout that fic which state what year it takes place and how much historical research I did. Adding another one would probably have little effect.

[persephone-kore.livejournal.com]

Yes, I have read reviews at ff.net, and I have seen authors use a review to comment on other reviews. The application is somewhat limited, yes, and I would not be entirely surprised if ff.net discourages it, but it's out there.

[deralte.livejournal.com]

I saw someone do it once years ago, but I think it's kinda stupid.

[persephone-kore.livejournal.com]

I saw it earlier this week, and not from someone I consider an idiot.

I apologize if the suggestion offended you.

[deralte.livejournal.com]

Not offended. I just don't see the point. When you review a story on ff.net, there is no need to actually view the other reviews. Occasionally I do since I'm curious what other reviewers are saying, but I don't believe that other reviewers regularly read the reviews for the stories they are reading. Hence, responding to a review with a review is a bit like pinning up a notice on a message board in a supermarket you know very few people shop at. They could potentially shop there, but they probably won't.

[ashfae.livejournal.com]

Leave a return note pointing out the year in which it's set. For pete's sake,w here'd he get the idea it was 12th Century? That's just ludicrous.

[deralte.livejournal.com]

I can't. They left an anonymous review, but with their name written in. Hence, my rant here.

[ashfae.livejournal.com]

I know, so write a "review" to yourself, and it'll show up right above theirs. Probably they'll see it, when they review the next chapter.

[ashfae.livejournal.com]

Or I'll gladly do it for you if you want to remain above such things. ;)

[deralte.livejournal.com]

You can if you like. I just don't believe that he'll ever see it (the reviewer has to chose to look at the reviews for the story and that's something I do once every hundred stories if not more). They're still reviewing though so I guess there's a chance they're anal enough to check the reviews.

[ashfae.livejournal.com]

Damn, it's so long since I left a review on ff.net I can't remember--does it not, after you review something, automatically go to the page of reviews? I thought it did. Hmmmmm.

[deralte.livejournal.com]

They switched to pop ups several years ago, though it never loaded the review page if I remember correctly since ff.net is so incompetent recent reviews never showed up until days later. Thanks for dropping them the short review. Who knows? They might look at it.

[ashfae.livejournal.com]

Oh well, I did anyway, just in case. Hope you're not bothered.

Though I'm shocked, shocked I say, at what I read in one of your author's notes. You didn't know who Jack Handy is? Has this been rectified in the interim? Because <a href="http://www.saidwhat.co.uk/quotes/celebrity/jack_handy2>Deep Thoughts</a> was one of the best bits of SNL, and right up your alley humorwise, I'd have thought. The one I always remember is "I wish I had a cross made of Kryptonite. then I could keep Dracula AND Superman away!"

[deralte.livejournal.com]

I know what Deep Thoughts is and have watched several of them, I just don't know who Jack Handy is cause I don't remember names:P

[ashfae.livejournal.com]

Oh, that's okay then. =)

[deralte.livejournal.com]

Well, he seems to have gotten the message about 1680. Well done.

Of course, then he immediately started to tell me that there were no trousers in 1680. *headdesk*

[ashfae.livejournal.com]

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. What kind of idiot is he?