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Those of you who have been paying attention or bothered asking;) know that Ariana Deralte was the name of my first mary sue, I took as a penname online to remind myself never to write another one.
I did promise to post one of my mary sue fics, which up until this point have been read by a total of about five people *sends sympathy their way*. I did actually have better written/plotted/researched/less cliched fics lying around, but I reread this one and was sent into convulsions of laughter at how bad it was. Hopefully, it will be somewhat amusing to other people as well since I can't remember how much sugar I'd had when I reread the fic at this point.
It's quite short, and was written as an assignment for school on learning to use MS word of all things. It is therefore crappy and cliched, as my author's note which I'm not including said (I'm relived that I at least realized how cliched and stupid the story was when I wrote it...). All punctuation has been preserved. And if my memory serves me correctly, I was 14 when I wrote this.
And so, without further ado, I present a Mary sue named
And We Can Love Forever by Ariana Deralte
Golden rays of the setting sun bathed Ariana in their glow, making the ring on her finger sparkle. Early this morning, Jake had woken her up insisting that she follow him up the narrow trail to the summit of the cliff in order to see the sunrise. When they reached teh top, Jake had gotten down on one knee, confessed his undying love and asked her to marry him.
Ariana had paused, weighting the consequences of her decision. Her Immortality would always be between them though telling him was a risk she wasn't willing to take. She had seen too many Immortals lose their partners after confessing their secret, but the worst thing was that someday she would lose him forever. Ariana would still be forever young when he was passing 80. She'd been through this before. Did she want to go through this again? But looking into Jake's eyes and seeing the love that she knew was reflected in her own, she'd made her decision.
They had spent the rest of the day just enjoying each other's company and it was late when they finally started back down. Once they got home they would tell his parents and hope for the best. She took another step forwards. Suddenly, her foot skidded on some pebbles. Ariana's desperate grasp for a sturdy handhold fell short. She fell. Why now?, the thought ran through her mind until the embrace of death took her.
Ariana woke gasping for the air her lungs so desperately needed. Each beat of her heart making her painfully aware of her already healing injuries. Waking up was always unpleasant but it was better than the alternative. As feeling returned to her hands, she became aware of a fire and a hand clasping her own.
"Jake," she said softly. He stirred. She repeated his name. His eyes flew open to gaze in disbelief upon her.
"Ariana?"
"I'm not a ghost. See your still holding my hand." She squeezed it to demonstrate her point.
"Then what are you?" Getting righ tot the point as usual.
"I'm immortal," she said, staring into the fire, unwilling to meet his eyes. "I was born almost 530 years ago in the Inca city of Machu Pichu. The only way I can die is if you cut off my head. Immortals play what is called the Game. We hunt and kill each other for the Quickening or essence that is transferred to the victor at the end of a fight. In the end ther can be only one. I was afraid to tell you. I'm sorry. I'll understand whatever your decision is," she said, her heart breaking.
"Ariana. Ariana, look at me." He grasped her shoulders and turned her to face him. "I love you. I don't care if you live forever or till tomorrow, and I know you love me too. YOu must ahve known you would lose me someday but you said yes anyway. For me that's what counts."
She gave him an incredulous look. "When your 80, I'll still look 20 years old and there are other problems too..." He interrupted her.
"As long as your with me, this is what I want," he said, and kissed her.
Ariana laughed. Maybe you could love forever.
And people wonder why I write gen these days...
I did promise to post one of my mary sue fics, which up until this point have been read by a total of about five people *sends sympathy their way*. I did actually have better written/plotted/researched/less cliched fics lying around, but I reread this one and was sent into convulsions of laughter at how bad it was. Hopefully, it will be somewhat amusing to other people as well since I can't remember how much sugar I'd had when I reread the fic at this point.
It's quite short, and was written as an assignment for school on learning to use MS word of all things. It is therefore crappy and cliched, as my author's note which I'm not including said (I'm relived that I at least realized how cliched and stupid the story was when I wrote it...). All punctuation has been preserved. And if my memory serves me correctly, I was 14 when I wrote this.
And so, without further ado, I present a Mary sue named
And We Can Love Forever by Ariana Deralte
Golden rays of the setting sun bathed Ariana in their glow, making the ring on her finger sparkle. Early this morning, Jake had woken her up insisting that she follow him up the narrow trail to the summit of the cliff in order to see the sunrise. When they reached teh top, Jake had gotten down on one knee, confessed his undying love and asked her to marry him.
Ariana had paused, weighting the consequences of her decision. Her Immortality would always be between them though telling him was a risk she wasn't willing to take. She had seen too many Immortals lose their partners after confessing their secret, but the worst thing was that someday she would lose him forever. Ariana would still be forever young when he was passing 80. She'd been through this before. Did she want to go through this again? But looking into Jake's eyes and seeing the love that she knew was reflected in her own, she'd made her decision.
They had spent the rest of the day just enjoying each other's company and it was late when they finally started back down. Once they got home they would tell his parents and hope for the best. She took another step forwards. Suddenly, her foot skidded on some pebbles. Ariana's desperate grasp for a sturdy handhold fell short. She fell. Why now?, the thought ran through her mind until the embrace of death took her.
Ariana woke gasping for the air her lungs so desperately needed. Each beat of her heart making her painfully aware of her already healing injuries. Waking up was always unpleasant but it was better than the alternative. As feeling returned to her hands, she became aware of a fire and a hand clasping her own.
"Jake," she said softly. He stirred. She repeated his name. His eyes flew open to gaze in disbelief upon her.
"Ariana?"
"I'm not a ghost. See your still holding my hand." She squeezed it to demonstrate her point.
"Then what are you?" Getting righ tot the point as usual.
"I'm immortal," she said, staring into the fire, unwilling to meet his eyes. "I was born almost 530 years ago in the Inca city of Machu Pichu. The only way I can die is if you cut off my head. Immortals play what is called the Game. We hunt and kill each other for the Quickening or essence that is transferred to the victor at the end of a fight. In the end ther can be only one. I was afraid to tell you. I'm sorry. I'll understand whatever your decision is," she said, her heart breaking.
"Ariana. Ariana, look at me." He grasped her shoulders and turned her to face him. "I love you. I don't care if you live forever or till tomorrow, and I know you love me too. YOu must ahve known you would lose me someday but you said yes anyway. For me that's what counts."
She gave him an incredulous look. "When your 80, I'll still look 20 years old and there are other problems too..." He interrupted her.
"As long as your with me, this is what I want," he said, and kissed her.
Ariana laughed. Maybe you could love forever.
And people wonder why I write gen these days...
