This rant is for therapeutic purposes and probably echoes a lot of what you've read before, but dammit, I need to rant some more.
First off, I'm impressed and appalled that Lucas managed an entire movie in which not a single female character other than Padme had a speaking line. And her lines entirely consisted of shite about love and her babies and making a happy, motherly place. Gah. There were female Jedi, but if you notice, they were the only ones who didn't even get to fight back when the Jedi were massacred. You might wonder why I'm complaining about this. After all, it's not like Lucas has ever attempted to hide that these are films about men and their toys. Nor have there ever been a lot of speaking roles for women in any of the movies - but, at least they were usually speaking roles for strong women. Leia, Mon Motha, Padme in earlier movies, even Shimi. In this movie we get motherly, one dimensional archetype Padme and that's it. It pisses me off, though I suspect it pisses me off more since I've actually been watching a series that has kickass fighting and is obviously for boys, yet also has strong female characters *huggles One Piece*

It's not like there weren't good points to the movie. The special effects were generally fantastic with the CGI of characters getting better as we go, though still easy enough to pick out. The sky fight scene at the beginning was gorgeous, though it would have been nice if Lucas could have held the camera still for more than a second. I liked Bail Organa even if he was only there as a plot contrivance. I felt sorry for Count Dooku (incidently, even if his name does mean poison in Japanese, they're not only mispronoucing it, they're misspelling it as well..) but thought they did an excellent job of replacing him with CGI in the fight scenes. Yoda of course, kicked arse as we expected him too, though his giving up at the end was... well, stupid. Others will argue that he had his reasons. A need to recharge or something, but it was still stupid. Oh wait, I'm talking about the good bits. Uhm, I liked that Obi-wan got more fight scenes in this movie. Also, his lizard was the coolest character ever! I want my own riding lizard and I hope it was okay when it fell in the water. *pets riding lizard* I actually thought it was good to end it where they did with the sunset on Tatooine and the ending generally happened as I thought it would. Of course, the whole Padme dying in childbirth thing does sort of reduce any sort of impact of Leia's remembrances of her mother... Damn, I'm complaining again. Nevermind, will just go back to ranting.

I think the basic problem was that the good bits of the movie were entirely wrapped up in and dependent on the crap. The dialogue was heartbreakingly bad in places. I'm pretty sure that the opening exchanges between Obi-wan and Anakin were supposed to establish that they're now equals as jedi knights and brothers and what not but it was so bad... *sigh* I'd complain specifically but I seem to have forgotten nearly all the dialogue in self defense. Lucas also thought reusing millions of lines from the later movies was cool... which it was, the first couple of times, but after awhile it just smacked of lazy writing. It was mostly the dialogue at least that hindered everyone's performances. I've seen them all act in other movies... or so I keep telling myself. McGregor was of course the best and I loved how he kept channeling Alec Guiness.

The emperor was suitably manipulative, but as usual for the prequels, the whole plot rested on everyone in the galaxy being tremendously stupid. Anakin didn't really fall to the dark side, so much as plummet at high speeds. It seemed to take him only a few days to completely go psycho. Hooray for that excellent jedi training *cough* Would like to point out that other than the dead Jedi, there is actually peace in the galaxy...

I think Lucas made a mistake trying to make the lava fight look too cool, and also made a mistake cutting between it and the Yoda/Palpatine fight since it definately cut through some of the drama, and also made it more confusing than it should have been. I've seen manga fight scenes that make a hell of a lot more sense than that one did. Nor was it all that interesting a fight compared to the gorgeous beauty that is the Duel of the Fates. Say what you will of Phantom Menace, but that final duel was an utterly fantastic fight. If I were in Obi-wan's place, I'd have killed Anakin to end his pain, but I can also understand why he didn't.

The whole thing with Qui-gon becoming one with the force or what not was not only anti climatic, but ill thought out. It lessens Obi-wan as a character, but Lucas has always been good at destroying the coolness he built up in the first place. Cannot understand how R2-D2 could have been left with his memory and never say a bloody thing... not to mention it basically destroys the extended universe, but whatever. I was quite happy to see Chewie, even if I'm left calculating just how old he is now.

I think I'd have been more impressed by General Grevious if he'd been less of a cliche, less of a random character we've never heard about who was only there to die, and if I hadn't watched some much cooler fight scene involving far more swords in One Piece on Sunday. Oops. Self fufilling prophecy... eh, don't have much to say. I hate them myself, but they're a common trop so whatever.

Lucas has also seriously forgotten how to direct. There was a really crappy close up of Obi-wan's eyes at one point for instance that wasn't even framed properly. Gah. While Williams music was gorgeous as usual, it was rather overly dramatic in the weirdest places. Odd that.

I couldn't help but hold my breath when they put on the Vader mask, but then I started giggling when he yelled Noooooo! about Padme's death. Uhm, Hayden Christansen doesn't really do anything for me at all, but I always appreciate seeing nicely descending ab lines. I think Lucas should get a time out for using so many nightmare scenes though. I also found Anakin's jealously of Obi-wan really funny in a, wow, he's pathetic sort of way.

Hmm, I think I've got that out of my system now. You may be about your business;)

Edit to add: The New Yorker has a really entertaining review of the film that will make you think I was being nice up above...
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